


Nothing About You is Wrong

by astarryjelly



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Anxiety, Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dreams, Entrapta (mentioned) - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Lesbian Character, Lesbian Disaster Adora (She-Ra), Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Triggers, comphet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25277320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astarryjelly/pseuds/astarryjelly
Summary: Her whole life, she was told that she was a monster. The efforts she goes through to make herself feel normal hurt her more than her mother's words ringing in her ears.-"I want you to feel accepted. You are not disgusting or wrong. You are beautiful and valid. Your mother's words mean nothing."
Relationships: Adora & Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 115





	Nothing About You is Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> Just putting a TW here for some internalized homophobia, homophobia, comphet, and just overall struggle with sexuality. There's like one curse work whoopsie.

She wasn't sure why it happened, she just knew it did. One day, despite the promises, the love, the comforting. Adora wasn't coming back, and she knew it. 

So there Catra sat, watching her best friend drive away.

It started in 8th grade.

_Her hands slid away from her waist._

_Adora ripped herself away from her best friend. Her hands pulling awkwardly at the fabric at the brunette's hips as she rushed away._

_It was a tender moment, eyes locking and shaking hands as Adora slid her arms around the girl's waist, slipping across her hips to settle behind her back. Her weight shifted forward and she let her face relax into the crook of Catra's neck._

_It was silent for a moment, and in that split second, everything was perfect._

_Then it all clicked back into place._

_**That is monstrous, predatory. You are disgusting.** _

_Her mother's voice rang throughout her brain, She remembered the way her mother reprimanded her when she asked about women loving women. She knew the way she felt wasn't ok. She had to put a stop to it._

_So she ran._

_She pulled her hands away from Catra, ripping against the fabric gathered at her hips to pull away. She fell backward off the bed and shuffled backward in an uncomfortable crab walk._

_"Adora?"_

_"I- I have to go. Bye."_

_She grabbed her blue backpack from the floor, stumbling out of her bedroom and down the hall. Catra sat on her bed, baffled, before chasing after the girl._

_She tumbled out of bed and ran after her crush. She knew Adora would never like her back, so she tried to push her feelings into her throat and down to sit heavily in her stomach._

_"Adora wait!" She called._

_Adora had already made her way to the front door. Her shoes were half on her feet and untied. She pulled open the front door and took off down the street to her apartment._

_Catra had just made her way to the front door when she watched her best friend turn the corner and vanish._

_The brunette was baffled to say the least. She had no clue what happened, our why. Nor did she know what the future would hold for her._

_-_

_The next day at school, Adora, who normally met Catra at her locker, didn't show up._

_She pushed passed Catra in the hallways and ignored her any time they spoke._

_Catra's heart was chipped away little by little until one day she couldn't handle it. She strolled down the hallway, on the way to her locker after her last class of the day. Adora stood, leaning against a locker, talking to her new 'best friend' Sparkles. At least, that's what Catra called her._

_Catra hated Glimmer more than she thought was possible. She blamed her for the loss of her best friend. Watching Adora slip slowly through her fingers, only to fall right into the lap of a small girl with pink and purple split dyed hair, made Catra's blood simmer in her veins._

_"Adora!" She called out, grabbing Adora's upper arm. "Sparkles..." She shot the girl a sharp glare before turning her attention back to the blonde._

_"I'm stealing you for a minute." She said, beginning to pull her down the hallway._

_"I'll be back in a minute Glimmer!" She called out, waving an arm at the petite girl._

_The pink/purplette just nodded, turning on her heel, presumably to find her boyfriend Bow._

_"Catra what?" Adora spoke._

_Catra let her go once they reached the back garden. It was a place the girls used to run off to, to hide during recess. It was peaceful and calm._

_Catra hopped onto a picnic table, settling in on the table. Adora slid onto the bench and looked up at the girl who had brought her here._

_She fought to not get lost in her mismatched eyes. The crystal blue of her right eye was warm and welcoming, like a pool of water she could float in for days. Her other eye, a unique yellow-brown mix, stood out, a spark of energy always coursing through it._

_"Why did you bring me here?" The blonde asked._

_"To talk." Catra replied nonchalantly._

_Adora felt her chest tighten at the words._

_**Shit, does she know?** _

_Her eyes scanned the room to find something to keep her from running away._

_"Oh haha, what about?" She forced out, trying to sound relaxed. Clearly, it didn't work, as Catra looked down at her, concern spilling across her face._

_"Why did you stop talking to me?" Catra asked anxiously._

_Adora froze. There were so many questions she would have answered, but this one? This one she couldn't._

_"What do you mean?" She asked, forcing a look of innocence across her face._

_"Adora, I know you know what I mean. We haven't spoken in over a week, we didn't eat lunch together, you stopped coming to my locker. What's going on?" She pleaded. Something about listening to this girl beg made Adora's heart shatter._

_"We can't keep being friends." Adora spoke, rising from her seat and sliding away from the table._

_"Adora what? W-Why?"_

_"We just can't ok?!' Adora yelled, running off into the building._

_Catra didn't even bother looking for her. She just curled up in a ball on the table, letting the rough sobs shake her chest._

_**She didn't speak to Adora again after that.** _

_**That was... until college.** _

Catra dropped her boxes onto the floor. She brushed her hands of on the side of her pants and looked around. It was a small room, two twin beds across from each other. Her dog Melog brushed against her legs and settled at her feet. She reached a gentle hand down and stroked across their fur.

It was well lit, brick walls. A smooth layer of grey paint covered three of the four walls. The back wall was painted a light blue. Her heart was beating out of her chest at the idea of rooming with Adora.

Suddenly, there was a faint knock on the door.

It opened slowly and Adora walked in, followed shortly by Shadow Weaver, her mother.

Catra sat on her bed, leaning against the wall. She fiddled with her fingers as Adora and her mother walked in and out repeatedly, settling in the last few boxes before Shadow Weaver turned to face her daughter.

"Goodbye my love, I hope you have a good time." She whispered, sliding her hands to cup Adora's cheeks. She pressed a kiss to her forehead before swiftly turning on her heel and strutting out the door.

They had a suite style dorm, which they shared with two other people.

Scorpia and Glimmer had single rooms. Directly outside the doors to their rooms, was a small kitchenette for them to make quick food.

"Hey Adora." Catra spoke softly, trying put together any little bits of their shattered relationship.

Adora turned to look at the shorter girl. Her face lit up in flames, her eyes going wide. She turned her back quickly, shifting around her boxes.

"Hey." She spoke softly, paying no mind to the dog in the room either.

They sat in an awkward silence while they got their dorm together, setting up sheets and small decorations.

"Hey so um, I'm gonna go meet up with friends." Adora spoke.

"Um, ok."

And with that, Adora left the dorm, closing the door quietly after her.

Catra sat back on her bed, unsure of what to do or how to handle the situation. She knew she and Adora got into the same college, they had been planning to apply to the same ones since they were in 3rd grade. What she didn't expect, was for their friendship to fall apart, and for Adora's new best friend to come with her.

After Adora had left her, the bullying started.

Adora was popular. She was pretty, she was smart, she played soccer. But most of all, Adora was nice. She sacrificed every last bit of herself to make sure that everyone around her was happy. Adora was the only reason people didn't make fun of Catra. Whether it was the fact that was adopted, her eyes were mismatched, or she was just a little too angry. People always had it out for her. Even if they just laughed at her name _Catrina_ , people loved to joke about her name.

She had earned the nickname Catra from Adora. Catra held a lot of cat-like mannerisms. Soft purring, dislike of water, and hissing in anger. In 1st grade, Adora called her Catra for the first time and it stuck. No one, including her adoptive parents, called her anything other than that afterward. Most people don't even know her real name.

The only people who stuck by her side were her friend Scorpia and her semi-friend Entrapta. When they were little, Catra had lashed out and hit Entrapta, shoving her to the floor. Catra never forgave herself for what she did, Entrapta did, however.

Melog let out a little whine and jumped onto the bed.

Melog was her psychiatric service dog, there to aid with her mental illnesses.

"It's ok buddy." She murmured, petting them gently.

She decided to just watch some Netflix and relax. She would ask Adora if she wanted to go out and eat with her before she left.

All Catra wanted to do was repair their broken friendship.

Her whole life was filled to the brim with Adora, she didn't realize it until she lost her, but Catra was most definitely in love with Adora. She figured that if they were apart, her feelings would at least go away. They've only grown stronger as she watched her flourish without her. She felt worthless and sad, but mostly angry. Angry that Adora left her behind to rot. She wished she could have been stronger.

There was a thud against the door before it flung open, scaring Catra shitless.

Adora stumbled in, her hands roaming a guy. His hands were on her waist as he kicked the door shut, they stumbled forward until they bumped into Adora's bed.

Catra looked away, her face searing. She tried to fight the tears that stung her eyes.

"I'm gonna go." She hissed, throwing on some shoes. Melog pranced behind her.

She grabbed their leash and threw on their vest.

"Bye Catra." Adora called out breathlessly.

Catra had no clue where she was gonna go, and she felt her anxiety starting to rise, this is was not good.

She found her way to a park. It was late at night and she wandered the streets all alone. Her back ached as she slid down the tree trunk. She let the tears fall as she scratched mindlessly at her arms.

Melog put a paw over her hand, batting at it until she stopped. She recoiled, curling up into a ball.

The dog slipped it's tiny black head into the hole between her legs and broke apart her ball. Catra just rubbed the dog soothingly as she cried.

She sat there for what felt like forever until she had managed to calm down. Her hands continued to rub across the black lab.

"You don't get it Melog, Adora doesn't want me, not like I want her." She murmured. They whined in her arms.

After a while she rose, steadying herself on the dog. They walked down to a convenience store, picking out some snacks to eat when they got home.

She settled on a bag of Hot Cheetos and some apple slices with caramel. She threw them into her bag and walked with Melog back to their dorm room.

The walk was peaceful, the orange street lights illuminated the road with an eerie view. She kept Melog close to her as she made her way home.

She entered the empty staircase and trudged up the stairs. Finally, she made it to her hallway and down to her dorm.

Her ear pressed against the soft wood cautiously, afraid to hear something she didn't wanna hear. She was shocked when the room was dead silent. She tried again, checking to make sure she wasn't going crazy. The only sound was soft snoring.

She pressed the door open slowly and creeped back into the room, tiptoeing so as to avoid waking the sleeping blonde. She wore only a bra and underwear, her comforter halfway off her body.

Catra forced herself to look away, knowing that she would feel guilty for checking out her sleeping ex-best friend.

She settled into her bed and let Melog snuggled into a dog bed on the floor.

Her laptop clicked open and she connected her wireless headphones, moving slower than a turtle to not cause a stir. She decided on opening the apple slices and caramel and put on a random show in the background.

Finally, everything was peaceful for the day. Both of the other girls were knocked out, and Adora lay peacefully across from her. She shut her laptop and let herself fall asleep. However, it wasn't the peaceful sleep she usually had.

_**She held a sleeping Adora in her arms. Sleeping? Her breathing was shallow. She reached up to thread her fingers through her hair, only to be met with a short choppy mess and ears. Ears? She would figure that out later, but Adora?** _

_**"Adora?"** _

_**Adora wasn't moving. She looked down at the girl in her arms, she wore a red jacket over a white shirt and her hair was in the standard ponytail. A tail slinked around one of Adora's arms. What the hell? Why did she have a tail?** _

_**Suddenly it was like her brain was running on autopilot.** _

_**"Don't you get it? I love you, I always have! So please, just this once, stay!" She cried.** _

_**She didn't know where the words came from, but they felt so natural on her lips. Green was creeping up Adora's face like veins and she wasn't moving. Catra shook her, touched her face, did whatever she could to keep the girl here with her. But it was no use, her chest stopped moving. Catra laid her head on her chest and tried to listen to a heartbeat. But you can't listen to something that's not there.** _

_**Catra's chest heaved with sobbed as she cradled the dead girl to her body, hoping, praying that she would wake up. But she never did.** _

Catra shot up in bed, her chest heaving as she sobbed. She tried to avoid waking up Adora, but it was no use. Melog had already made their way onto the bed.

Catra scratched at her legs aggressively. Melog laid across her lap to try to calm her, stop the harming behavior. Meanwhile, Adora sat up groggily in bed.

She looked across the room with blurred eyes and landed on the shaking form of her crush on the bed.

"Catra?" She asked. Her voice was husky and raw and had Catra not been panicking, she would have been extremely turned on.

Melog looked over at Adora before going back to work. They shifted off of Catra and let her curl into a ball. Their sleek black form slid between her legs and upward, pulled her arms apart so she was now hugging the dog. She nuzzled into the labs neck.

Adora had clambered off her bed and thrown on the first oversized shirt she could find. She made her way to Catra's bed.

She reached out to touch her leg, but was stopped by Melog pushing her hand away.

After a few anxious moments, Catra calmed down.

Melog laid across her lap again to help soothe the residual anxiety.

"Catra?" Adora spoke.

"Ehehe hey Adora." Catra mumbled awkwardly.

"What- What happened?" She questioned.

_I had a dream where you died in my arms_

She took a moment to think about how to respond.

"It was nothing. I just had a nightmare and it spiked my anxiety. You can go back to sleep now."

She couldn't help but focus on the hickeys that dotted the blonde's neck, or her tousled hair, falling out of it's usual ponytail.

Adora followed her line of sight and placed a hand over her chest.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to wake me up ok?" She spoke softly, heading back to her own bed.

"I won't." Catra murmured, cuddling back into her dog.

-

The girls had semi made up. They would never be as close as they were as children, and Catra had accepted that, but it was easy for her to spill her soul to this girl again.

They sat on Catra's bed. Melog was resting on the bed, their head leaning on Adora's knee. She stroked the lab softly.

"Yeah it was so wild!" Adora laughed.

A gentle smile fell across her lips as she looked at Adora. Her laugh was honey to her ears and it was everything she never knew she needed.

Adora noticed her gaze, a longing that was so familiar.

"Um..." She spoke awkwardly.

"Oh!" Catra snapped back to reality. "Sorry Adora I just spaced out." She smiled cheekily, scratching her neck awkwardly.

"It's ok."

"Adora if you don't mind me asking, who were those guys you brought home all the time at the beginning of the year?"

Adora froze. She knew she didn't love those men, but she figured that if she got with them, they would make her disgusting feelings go away.

"Oh um... just some guys. I dated them all for a bit."

"Oh um... ok."

"Yeah. I didn't really have feelings for any of them."

"Adora what the hell?!" Adora was shocked by the outburst.

"What? Look I'm sorry."

"You can't just get with guys if you have no feelings for them."

"I'm sorry. I just-" _I'm in love with you and it makes me feel wrong and dirty and I feel like I have to like men so I forced myself to._ "I just did it. I won't do it again."

"It's ok. Just, wanted to make sure you weren't hurting them. I'm glad-"

"I could never hurt anyone!" She exclaimed.

"I know I know don't worry. What I was gonna say was, I'm glad we're friends again. I've missed this." Catra's voice cracked ever so slightly, just enough for Adora to notice.

"Catra..."

She reached a hand out and placed it softly on Catra's thigh.

"You know... I got bullied a lot once you left." Her voice grew quiet. Melog left their perch at Adora's leg and curled up in Catra's lap.

"Y-you did?"

"You didn't know?"

"No I had no idea."

"You were popular! I get why I mean, you're smart, you're athletic, you're cool, hell you're beautiful-" She slapped a hand across her lips. "You're a great person. People never did anything to me because I had you by my side. When you left, I was vulnerable."

"Catra..."

"No it's really fine. I had Entrapta, I knew Scorpia liked me..."

She didn't miss the shocked look that flashed across Adora's face momentarily.

"Wait you did? Why did you let her live with us?"

"I mean I don't like her back. Yeah I like girls but like-"

"Wait you like women?" Adora felt her heart shatter. Of course she liked girls, who wouldn't? But knowing that she liked women, but not Adora made something in her die a little.

"I mean yeah, who wouldn't. I'm a lesbian." She smiled.

"You like women..." Adora whispered breathlessly.

"I'm a lesbian." Catra responded, confused.

Adora let herself fall forward, wrapping her arms around Catra's waist. She buried her face in her neck and tried to keep the tears from spilling.

"You're a lesbian." She murmured.

Catra pulled Adora close, into a tight hug. They say there for a moment.

_You're disgusting. How could you feel like this? Are you not upset that you're a predator. You're wrong. Your whole existence is wrong. You're a sinner._

Her mother's voice rang through her head and suddenly she was an 8th header again.

She ripped her arms away from Catra and fell back onto the floor. She stumbled before getting up.

"I- We can't do this. I'm sorry we can't be friends anymore."

She tried to leave again but this time Catra grabbed her hand. She pulled her back.

"Don't you get it? I love you! I always have! So please just this once, stay!" Catra broke down in sobs.

She never thought that, of all people, Adora wouldn't be accepting of her sexuality. She felt like her whole world was crashing down.

Adora froze. She turned back to Catra.

"Y- you love me?"

"You're such an idiot." Catra laughed somberly. She wiped away the tears.

"I love you too." Adora murmured through tears.

Catra stepped forward, taking Adora's face into her hands. She pressed her lips to the blondes and it felt like the world was coming together. Adora had no clue how amazing this would feel.

Adora's hands slid around Catra's waist. Catra pulled her closer. They tripped backward and fell onto Catra's bed. Adora climbed onto her lap, sliding her hands into Catra's hair.

They pulled away for a breath. Catra looked at Adora. Her eyes were so full of love and warmth and Adora felt like everything was perfect. At least, until her mother's voice rang in her head.

"Adora?" Catra asked.

"I'm sorry. This was wrong." She murmured. She tried to get out of Catra's lap but her hands held them there.

"Adora. You can't keep doing this. You've been doing this since 8th grade. What's the matter with you? Just open up please?"

Adora sighed. She crawled off of Catra's lap and laid down on her pillow.

"My mom is homophobic ok." She murmured, burying her face in the pillow.

"What?" Catra shifted to her side, stroking her arm cautiously.

"My family is homophobic, and every time I think about being gay, I can't help but hear her voice in my head."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Catra asked.

Adora laid her head in Catra's lap. Catra fiddled with the blondes hair and listened to her speak.

"My whole life my mom told me that being gay was disgusting. I was disgusting. I was a sinner. That's why I left you. I felt- I felt the feelings growing and I felt so disgusting. I ran away. I figured that if I never saw you, the feelings would go away. Clearly they never did."

"I'm glad they didn't. I've been in love with you since like 7th grade."

"That's good to know. I'm sorry. I got with all those guys because, Catra... I think i'm a lesbian."

"Th- that doesn't make sense?"

"I dated them because I felt like I had to love men. I know I don't but I feel so gross for not liking men that I figured that once I got with men, my feelings for you would go away. Sex with them was gross." She laughed.

"Seems like it," Catra smiled softly. "Look. My love isn't just gonna make these feelings go away, but I want you to feel accepted. You are not disgusting or wrong. You are beautiful and valid. Your mother's words mean nothing."

Adora looked up at Catra.

"Thank you Catra." She smiled.

"So what does that make us? Girlfriends?" Catra questioned.

"I think I'd like that." Adora smiled as Catra leaned down to kiss her softly.  
-  
Catra sat in the stands at her girlfriends championship soccer game.

"Yeah Adora!" She called.

She wore her girlfriends burgundy college hoodie and some black ripped jeans. Her hair was pulled into a sloppy ponytail.

Adora was the captain of the soccer team and a forward.

The game was about to end and they were tied. Adora got the ball, dribbling up the field. She switched the ball to her left side. Her secret skill was that she was ambidextrous. She switched to the left, throwing the goalie off, and took the final shot. It hit the corner perfectly and the stands erupted in cheers.

"Yeah baby!" Catra called.

The game had just ended and Catra made her way from the bleachers down to the track to wait for her girlfriend. Adora had just made it off the field when she saw her.

Adora, despite her lack of energy, sprinted to meet her girlfriend. Catra slipped her hands around her girlfriend and lifted her into the air, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"Congrats babe." She spoke into her lips.

"Thank you kitty. I love you." She murmured.

Catra placed her back on the floor as her friends came to join them. Glimmer, that's what her real name was, and her boyfriend Bow. Catra struggled to get past the initial anger she had for Glimmer. It wasn't until Adora had slid into bed with her, letting Catra run her calloused hands across ever scar, every curve, every sensitive spot, that Catra fully understood that Adora was hers.

When Catra observed the numerous love bites scattered across her girlfriends naked body, she finally knew that no one was going to take this from her. So her anger began to fade, and she realized Sparkles (She still loved to call her that) was nothing but a good person.

"Congrats Adora!" She exclaimed, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you!"

Bow was relatively new to the friend group, they only met at the end of the soccer season when Glimmer introduced her boyfriend.

"Congratulations Adora. You were amazing." He spoke.

"Thank you Bow." She stepped forward and hugged him.

It was almost winter break and the group would be heading back to the girls hometown.

"Let's get some lunch before heading home?" Catra suggested.

There was a series of agreements before they all took off.

Adora stood back a moment, watching her life. Everything was where it needed to be. Catra paused for a moment looking back at her girlfriend who stood frozen in her spot.

"You coming?" She asked, holding out a hand.

Adora slid her hand gently into her girlfriends.The world may not be accepting, but she would find people who were. The world was tough, but no matter what, Catra was soft.

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I really related to (thankfully my parents arent outwardly homophobic) and comphet is a STRUGGLE. I hope you enjoyed, and I really appreciate comments and kudos <3


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